I was honored to read this beautiful, honest, deep, heartfelt,
endearing letter at a baby shower recently...
and Natalie has kindly let me share it here with y'all.
Keep your Kleenex handy.
~~
A Letter to My Children
You have made me something great!
The moment I brought each of your naked newborn bodies up to my chest
are three moments I will never forget. My idea of what was great before
having you was nothing of what I could have imagined today. I went to
school and had plans to be a missionary in another country. I gave up
everything to follow God’s plan for my life. Then one day, God showed me
that I needed to give up my plan and enjoy the plan of being a mother
to you. He wanted to show me how much more I needed to give, so I began
an unexpected journey of sacrifice.
I'm writing this letter to you
at the end of the day. I’ve given you everything and I’m too tired to
shower. Today I’ve fed your hungry bellies and bathed your little bodies
that wear the marks of dirt and sticky snacks. I’ve lost count of the
dirty diapers and potty accidents. I read you books and colored with
you. I made you popsicles and wrestled you on the floor. I lost my
temper. I hurt your feelings. I sang you to sleep and counted the
freckles on your nose.
My precious children, sometimes you might
think I don’t like being your mom. When my face gets all weird and scary
looking. When my patience is short. When I’m too tired to read and I
get frustrated that you didn’t make it to the toilet in time. You have
seen sides of me that others have not. You have seen me at my worst.
It
has been your little hands and hearts that have brought me to my knees.
I have learned through your lives that there is always someone more
important than myself. Serving you has left me tired and drained.
Serving you has been the best thing I could do in my lifetime. Your
three lives remind me every day that life is not about me, it is about
loving others.
You have no idea now, but you are teaching me to
lean hard into the moments that shape my character, no matter how
uncomfortable they are. You are teaching me that serving others around
the clock is hard work. But it is turning me into something beautiful.
Before
I had you I was told that children are a blessing. They were right, but
I didn't understand what they meant. I thought children were a blessing
because they were fun and and really cute to carry around. Now I know
that children are a blessing because they turn my eyes away from myself.
Your lives have stolen my heart. My heart can’t beat for myself
anymore. It beats for you from morning to night, and all through the
night. When you are in pain or when you have to work extra hard, I feel
what you feel. When your feelings are hurt, my heart breaks with yours.
When you experience something new and you scream with excitement, I am
cheering right along side of you.
Today
I am celebrating the greatness of being your mom, but I don’t want to
be honored for the things I have done. I want to honor the one who
hasn’t given up on me..... When I yelled at you and my face turned red with sin, he
forgave me. I want to honor God for the work he has done in my life. My
beautiful children, you are a blessing because you bring me joy and you
point me to the one who will never give up on me. You point me to the
one who is making me great.
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
-Psalm 127:3
~About Natalie~
My life is an open book, you can turn the pages of
pain and the chapters of unexpected joy. I am not writing about my life to
prove that I am more special than anyone else. But I write to you so that you know you are not
alone. I have something I want to tell you. A perspective on life that I wasn't planning of
having.
After my second son, Elias, was born with Down
syndrome, I became a different person. And it was because of God's grace that I
can speak to you with hope. The story I write to you is about love. Not the
perfect love you might see in the movies. It's messy. There is pain and tears.
Joy too, but sometimes that is found through sorrow. This story is honest. This
is my love story.
